Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
