I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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