Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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