My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
