You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
