How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
