I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
