Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
