We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
