Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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