No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
