her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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