I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
