How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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