And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
