Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
