I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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