my mouth tastes like poor choices
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
