I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
