The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
