That's intense
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
