My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
