it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize