Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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