wakey wakey hands off snakey
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
