PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
