My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
