32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
