Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
