Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
my poor anus
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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