I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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