she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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