Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
