Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
