Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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