I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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