There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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