Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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