we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize