Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
