Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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