just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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