She said her name was "party"
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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