There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
