That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
