Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
