Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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