I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize
