So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
