by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
