I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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