oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
She said her name was "party"
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
