So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
