Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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