How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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