I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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