Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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