I think i peed on brittanys purse
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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