I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
i now understand why vodka
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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