I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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