So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
